Beauty 4 Ashes (My story)

My name is Prophetess Shaquita Jones, and I've been in ministry for a little over 10 years. I am a true witness that there is a heavy price we must pay to be anointed for real, for everyone has a story. I've come to know that people will see you praying and speaking the Word of the Lord with fervency, but they don't know all that you had to go through to get there. 

There is a saying that a flower must go through a lot of dirt to become beautiful. Here is the dirt I had to go through...

I grew up in a single parent home until I was 9 years old. My mother married my stepfather and tried to make the family complete, but for a long time I was ashamed of where I came from. When I looked at pictures of myself when I was a little girl, I would hold back tears because I could still feel the hurt that was masked behind the smile. When I was 6 years old up until the age of 9 I was molested by a family member then at the age of 12 I was raped by another family member. I hated my life, my mother thought I was a problem child, but I was just so full of anger. I felt abandoned by my real father, and I had no friends it was just a horrible place to be. 

I was always a loner, but because I wanted to be accepted so bad I began doing things that would make me popular among my peers. I was a child that sought out to be accepted and loved, so that caused me to seek the attention of men. This opened a door to a lifestyle of promiscuity. I got pregnant with my first child when I was 14 years old. He left saying that the baby was not his, so I was stuck raising a baby when I was only a baby myself with the help of my mother. I just thought that having a baby would fill the void of love that I was so desperately looking for. It's safe to say that my baby did not fill that void. I was still angry and still looking for love in all the wrong places, and by the time I was 17 I was pregnant with my second child, This man stayed around, but he was very abusive. We fought physically almost everyday, I was always called nasty names, and at this point I didn't think my life would get any better. I was living a life that all I knew to function in was chaotic. I didn't know what it meant to live, for I was only existing at this point.

He made me hate men, so I began to take interest in women. I was in relationships with people still trying to find someone who would love me. I put up with things that I knew were wrong just for the sake of having people around. I was miserable!

One night someone I knew convinced me to attend a bible study, and I sat in the back of the church with a complete attitude. I said to myself, "I wish this lady hurry up." It was like she heard my thoughts, because as soon as that thought registered in my mind she looked at me and called me to the front. She said words that I would never forget. She said, "Little girl you have an awesome call on your life, and the devil desires to sift you as wheat, but I'm going to pray for you, and when you step foot out of this church your life will never be the same." 

She prayed for me, and at that time I knew nothing about gifts and callings, but I tell you the truth as soon as I stepped foot out of that church even more hell was unleashed on top of the hell I had already been experiencing. Nothing worked for me, the relationships that I was involved in was stripped away, those who I thought were friends just started dropping out of my life, and I didn't understand why. I was 17 when I received this prophecy, and for the next few years it literally felt like I was losing my mind. I didn't want to live, I felt I had nothing to live for, so I decided that I would end my life. I took my kids to my mom and left. I went home and went into the bathroom cabinet and got every kind of medicine that was in there. I took everything I saw, and I asked God to forgive me, I cried myself to sleep knowing that this was the end. 

A few hours later, I woke up vomiting what seemed like everything I had eaten in my life. I was so sick, and I prayed and said God if you get me out of this I will never do this again. Needless to say, He did; I was sick, but I was alive. When I got my strength back I began to read the bible, and I said in my heart that I wanted to know Jesus. When that decision was made in my heart I started to look at things differently. I no longer desire to have lots of people around me. I was just so disgusted with how was I living. I wanted change, so I applied for a banking position and God gave me favor. I was finally starting to love life and myself. I would pray and carry my bible everywhere I went. I was at lunch and this man saw me reading my bible and began to talk to me. Little did I know this man was a pastor, and God would use him to bring me to Him. But the enemy did not let me go that easily. 

My kids father started back coming around, saying sweet things to get me back. He promised he would do right, and of course I fell for it. I was in church now, but I was still living with this man having sex and living as if I was married when I wasn't. Then slowly this man begin to verbally abuse me again. We started back fighting in front of the kids. I got pregnant again, I was so stressed my hair was falling out and I began to bleed while being pregnant. The doctors were saying that I was in danger of miscarrying. I had stopped going to church, and I stopped reading my bible, because I was so ashamed to face my pastor. I felt that I had falling so low, and the condemnation was so heavy I literally thought God had forgotten about me, and that I was not good enough to be blessed. 

I prayed this last time and said God if you get me out of this relationship I promise I will never go back. A week or two later, I needed a cab to take me to work. This man pulled up and I got in and he was nice looking, but I didn't say anything. We began to talk and he expressed that he wanted to see me again. I told him about the situation I was in and he said to me, "Listen I will take you to your mother's house, but you can't stay here, because if you do he is going to hurt you or you are going to hurt him."

I told him no thank you, and I was getting my things together to move at that time I had been waiting for my tax return money. A couple of days later I had got off work early to find that my boyfriend had another woman in the house. You all know I hit the roof, which caused me to do bodily harm to him and landed me the county jail. What I wake up call! I was in a jail cell pregnant, afraid, and alone. I was around all of these criminals, and in my mind I felt that I didn't deserve to be there. I had a cell to myself and now I know that God wanted it that way. 

I remember getting on my knees and begging God for forgiveness. I felt so bad for what I had done. I heard the Lord's voice for the first time. He said, "Now are you ready?" 

I said, "YES LORD! 

From that "YES" God began to do amazing things for me. While I was behind the walls I had a woman convicted of prostitution prophesy to me. I was sitting at the table reading my bible and she walked up to me and said,"I see a halo over your head."

I said, "What is that?" She said, "You know those gold rings that you see around an angel' s head." Of course I didn't believe her, but she spoke these words to me. Sister God is going to do great things for you and through you.You don't belong here. You will know things that others don't. Get out of here and get right with God!" 

I promised her that I would. Days later I had made bail, and I was so anxious to get my kids and go to church. I had moved in a new place, I had my kids, and God didn't allow me to miscarry. The man that had drove me to work that day had now become my boyfriend and he accepted me and my children. We got married and a year later I accepted my call in ministry.

I am a living witness of just how powerful the grace of God really is. There is a lot more to my story, but I just wanted to encourage those who has come from a broken past. I have been molested, raped, and abused. But by the grace of God I'M FREE!

You to can be given beauty for ashes, You to can be given oil of joy for mourning, and you to can receive the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness. 

You too can be free!

Be blessed people of God!!!